Let’s give space to our stories
My first female crush was one of my college teachers. I remember finding her the funniest and coolest person on the planet. It took me a while to realize that I actually had a crush on her. I had only been with guys before and the possibility of liking women had never really crossed my mind. Plus, she is almost twenty years older than me and also… my college teacher.
But then I started taking private lessons with her and that’s when I kind of understood what was going on in my head. I was mostly attracted to her intellectually and everything was very much out of reach for me with her, but she certainly was my first crush. Nothing more than some texts went on between us, and they probably meant nothing to her. But they did mean a new open door of possibilities for me. I never got to the point of picturing myself in a relationship with her but she definitely was an eye opener for me to find myself in that scenario with other women.
I always knew something was “missing” inside me. But I didn’t think it would be this. I didn’t think that who I choose to love would mean so much about who I am and how I love and accept myself. I’m still figuring my stuff out, I still haven’t reached the finish line. Not at all, in fact. But… I don’t know. It’s earth shattering how suddenly some people feel like home.
I met someone – before Covid-19 ruined us all, obviously – that in literally two conversations made my entire system collapse. And all I want to do is make her laugh. And it feels really good when she does. And she feels like home… even though I don’t really know her. Anyway… I guess I’m just surprised someone could make me feel all that in two conversations.
🦋 Córdoba, Argentina
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